Wednesday, December 8, 2010


blooooog. I won't apologize for my lack of intelligent rambling lately. I'm in love with Spain, not a huge fan of the food, but i have a theory it was because of our guide and his preference for buffets. I've never been a buffet kinda gal. We stayed in a magical hotel on the top floor and there were lion heads outside our window, gorgeous trees and the air held a stillness that made me want to try and soar from building to building. I didn't get to shop, tear, but if anyone who lives in Europe wants to trade me for some vintage dresses or flea market swag I've got some worthy trade. 

I went the longest I've ever gone without talking to my sister, a whole month. between traveling, miscommunication, lost phone, possessive boyfriend, tropical islands, and just a general feeling of hermitness I kind of blocked out the world for a month. I'm back now, I had 4 much needed meetings in one day and they all went insanely well. First off I'll tell you all that I signed on to do the first season of "the untitled audrina project" on VH1. Start filming the first week of January 2011, I'm trying to think of a New Years resolution but there is honestly nothing in my life I would change right now. Being capable of feeling content is freedom. I have found the joy in grocery shopping, cooking, organizing, landscape artistry... etc. when you find joy in everyday things nothing can stop you from feeling weightless. 

So back to this tv show, I am having the big meeting with Burnett in a few days, but I really hope I get to have some creative input. Audrina is an exectutive producer, not exactly sure what that entails but I'm jealous. I'm so proud of her, she had the balls to just up and leave everything she knew and move into a little apartment in a big city with a few girls she found in an ad. one thing led to another and now look where she is?! see, girls, you can do anything if you really want it, do not listen to the haters and do not give up on your dreams. 

I know what my dream is, I want to be the head of an empire. I'm starting with my Elizabeth Knight cosmetic line, I have it carved in my heart that I need to make certain that my best friend is immortalized and her parents are honored in the process. I miss her so much, I avoid driving on the 22 at all costs, I was forced to due to a detour yesterday and I balled my eyes out en route. People give you odd looks when you are listening to Taylor Swift and crying while sitting in traffic. Usually that cd works, makes me happy, appreciative. 

Back to this whole tv show, what would you guys like to see? I want to film the process of creating a makeup line, show people that it is NOT as glamourous as it sounds. I also am starting a foundation that will work to empower women all over the world, starting with the ones in my neighborhood. Everyone deserves to feel confident and beautiful in their own skin. I've been working hard to put a team of women together who understand my vision and feel passionate about what I am trying to do. So far things are beyond my expectations and I couldn't ask for a better group of beautiful, powerful, intelligent women to join me on my journey. I've already started designing shoes as well, I am constantly on the search for things I come up with in my head and they never exist. This is my solution haha. 


Friday, September 3, 2010

Elizabeth Knight

read the part about eye liner! =) 

Thursday, September 2, 2010

they call you a prostitute, we call you a child...

newest blog entry from
an organization that is dear to my heart and was founded by very close family friend's of ours. 
get informed... I just bought the book mentioned and look forward to reading it, lets share thoughts and read it together friends! xo

Growing up, when my parents told me not to talk to strangers or go anywhere without them knowing, I always thought they were too protective. I grew up in a small town where everyone knew who was at the grocery store at any given moment, so the thought that I would ever even encounter a stranger was foreign.  I was raised an ignorant child, never knowing of the dangers of the world or an unsafe place. When I first travelled outside the small bubble of my community, I was shocked to learn of ghettos and disease, of gangsters and hardship. There are millions of children just like me, unaware of reality and protected to a point of isolation. On the outside, life is perfect; the only dismay is having to keep up with the Jones’. But what no one knows is that 1 in 6 of us is sexually abused before we turn 18.

My heart is still recouping from reading “Renting Lacy”, written by former congresswoman Linda Smith. This biographical book is packed with powerful stories of 11 year old girls abducted into the commercial sex industry, plucked from their peaceful environments and thrust into the evil arms of abusing men, some of whom their families had trusted.

Rehabilitating street girls is the greatest challenge we face in the work we do. Sexual abuse is suffered by both boys and girls, the only difference is that the boys become men and defend themselves with their strength… and often end up abusing younger boys and/or girls in turn because of the psychological scars. The reality for girls is that they are seen as an invaluable commodity, and are commonly sold, traded or enslaved for sexual exploitation. Trafficking in persons has higher rates than weapons or drugs. Rape is now used as a weapon in war, and more than 100,000 children in the United States alone are raped repeatedly each year as part of the
commercial sex industry.

A street kids is…

-A child who has been a victim of sexual violence either by strangers or those known to them who live on the streets and is subject to more sexual violence.

-A child who is forced to engage in “survival sex” to secure food, safety and/or shelter.

-A child who is exploited by others for sexual or financial purposes who has no resource but life alone on the streets.

We here at UntilThen recommend that you read “Renting Lacy”, and your life will forever be changed and the children in your life will be safer because of it.

Thursday, August 26, 2010


I've come to one of my favorite parts of owning and creating a makeup line.
naming all my products i have been working on forever!

so i just took this photo twenty minutes ago haha since then sadie has stolen my headband and my hair is tied back up in a knot.

I only used elizabeth knight products. (as usual) why would i waste my money on other people's stuff when i can create whatever i want, right?..

I haven't had any foundation for the last two weeks since I left it at a photo shoot, so i've just been wearing a mixture of sunscreen and bronzing lotion on my face. doesn't clog my pores so my face is glowing.. then i used my gel eyeliner pot and slanted eye brush to do a little kitten eye. and then put on some real simple lipstick and rubbed my lips toether so it would smear a tad bigger than my natural lip line. i also put some of this matte waxy plumper (stuff i am still working on getting into production) on top of it so thats why you get the glare and it looks like half my lower lip is a different color. its a personal preference thing, gives you a crazy 3d effect.  i dig it.. 

thats about it, oh and i used black mascara, ive been rocking plum mascara for weeks now since i finalized that creation but today i went with black.

so i got this look using 4 products and it literally took 3 minutes. my hair was damp last night from a bubble bath and i tied it in a knot and this is what it looked like when i took it out this morning.

alright, i am going to start naming stuff. 
where would you guys like to be able to purchase elizabeth knight? online? in dept stores? 
how about brannon's salon at the hard rock in vegas?? I'll cross that bridge within the next two months!
I am thinking about launching a few products by december just so everyone has the oppurtunity to get their hands on some elizabeth knight and then season by season i will introduce tons of fun new stuff that you guys are going to make staples in your makeup kits. =) 

Tuesday, August 24, 2010


simply do not acknowledge the negative! it's sooo much easier. surrounding myself with like minded people who are driven by creativity and ideas rather than gossip and drama is the most incredible motivation to live life to the fullest. if someone is a constant downer in your life, why are they still in your life? surround yourself with people who appreciate what they have, not people who complain about what they don't have.. or even worse complain about people not appreciating what they have. a really short prayer can be just the reset button that you need for the moment, day, year etc... try this.. when you are driving alone... everytime you stop at a red light say something you are grateful for outloud. by the time you reach your destination you will be well aware of how blessed you are! <33

Monday, August 23, 2010

Hatred in Haiti

If there is one outstanding charity that I would love to spread the word about it would be KOFAVIV at 

People always ask why is everyone so obsessed with doing charity overseas when there are people right here in our own backyards that need help? are we so naive we don't just praise the lord that people are helping one another whether near or far? I have heard so many horror stories about the aftermath in Haiti. 

I was sponsoring a young boy there and I still don't know if he is ok, the letters and drawings have stopped coming.

 I read an article and I cannot help but get the shivers everytime I think about it. (my daughter is two and this makes me want to fly over to haiti and take all those women and children and sneak them home in my suitcase!!) I am going to simply re-type it... here we go.. 

"A New Tragedy Facing Haiti's Women and Girls"
"The massive earthquake that struck Haiti on January 12 and lasted 35 seconds. But women and girls there are still feeling devastating aftershocks in the form of rampant sexual violence. The sprawling tent cities housing thousands of displaced Haitians have, experts say, become epicenters of sexual assault, where victims as young as two are reportedly being raped every day. Although reliable data is difficult to come by, the Haitian antiviolence group KOFAVIV tracked 230 rapes in just 15 camps in port-au-prince in one nine-week period. (and consider that there are more than 500 camps in the capital.)
   Even before the quake, rape in Haiti was staggeringly common. But now the tent cities lack security, privacy and lighting, and "rape is rising because women have nowhere to go to be safe, and hardly anywhere to turn for help," Says Beverly Bell, founder of Other Worlds, a social justice advocacy group. In one horrific case, an 18 year old was gang raped so violently that she could not walk the next day it took eight days for her to get treatment. In Port-au-Prince, a women said something Bell can't forget: "The way you saw the Earth shake, that's how our bodies are shaking now." Perpetrators often attack at night, preying on women while they use dark latrines or sleep next to their children. One mother told Bell that she sleeps with a machete under her mattress. Other women try never to sleep at all. 
  Startlingly, some have this could have been prevented. Experts have long known that violence against women often increases after a disaster. That was seen in Indonesia after the 2004 Tsunami, and even here in the United States after Hurricane Katrina. "When police stations and courts are destroyed, women become more vulnerable than ever," says TAINA BIEN-AIME, Executive director of the international group Equality Now. Add men's post-disaster anger and desperation to the mix and women's bodies become targets. What do Haiti's women need right now? Advocates say that no real safety will come without better housing. But more security patrols, lighting and separate bathrooms within the camps would be a start, and you can help. 

a $50 donation to KOFAVIV at helps provide women with a security kit that includes a flashlight, whistle and a cell phone. "Until the rights of women and girls are protected," says Bien-Aime, "This country can never recover."

This got me scouring the web, looking for more information and ways that I can contribute. There is nothing that breaks my heart more than violence against women in ANY shape or form. Even if all you can do is bring awareness, pray for the women and children all over the world, no matter their condition... from the lonely housewife who seems to have everything to the woman living under a tarp in the worst living conditions imaginable, we all need to stick together. Love your sisters, tell a stranger that she is gorgeous. My mother in law is a true inspiration, she is just as loving, warm, and kind of a person whether it be a complete stranger in need, her own mother in law who recently moved in three doors down because she is suffering from alzheimer's, any one of her 11 grandbabies... or a dying woman in a remote part of Kenya which she frequents often. She has told me stories of being in Africa and feeling so useless, not being a doctor and just seeing so much tragedy and pain, her friend there Sister Frieda said something so profound that it made me cry when I heard the story.. something along the lines of means enough just to sit with someone in pain, desperation, any condition that is not favorable... you can hold their hand, pray for them, just be there with them... It's so true. Our time is our most valuable gift.

Monday, August 16, 2010

light it up, slowwww downnnnn

so I did a photoshoot with skinnie magazine for their november issue last week... I feel really weird cuz they talked me into wearing a swimsuit, mostly because the boss and this amazing woman michelle designed and hand made it, but this was the photo my makeup artist took in the bathroom when we were getting me all bronzy with elizabeth knight. the actual bikini photos are not as revealing i am in a weird hammock and you can only see my face and forearms.. hopefully they turn out cool. i am NOT a model. so i started cracking up when the photographer actually said the words "seduce the camera" I was LIKE NO WAY you guys actually say that??? i thought it was only in the movies hahahaha... wellll... anyways. i love my husband, this was the photo i sent him to get the thumbs up on wearing a bathing suit in public. i don't actually look that good, its the angle. don't be fooled i am a mama.

ok i am still reading all of the entries for the elizabeth knight giveaway! you guys rule!

oh and I made a new lipstick strictly for this fall.. it's called undercover lover and it's super gothic maroon. ive been wearing it all day everyday, blue ashbury's and maroon lipstick are actually an amazing combo....

k happy birthday to me in the last photo, my last minute birthday started rad as we went to see one of my very dear  friends beau play with his band bless the fall at the paladium... and then after dinner it just sucked super hard, about five minutes after the last photo was taken i was crying in drais nightclub because i got yelled at by my super drunk friend for her ex boyfriend telling me happy birthday....but it got really good once it was kyle, me, our best friends jeremy and carly all in our hotel room in bed watching movies and stuffing our faces with room service...


love you all. i can't wait to share my passion of beautifulness with you. i almost want to launch elizabeth knight in europe first! everyone help me get to paris, i need to meet some real women all over the world.
ciao <3

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Revolving doors

Drugs are american.
I've had a super jacked up back and they've been doing steroid epidural injections, then they tell me to take it easy. Really?! I have so much pent up aggression right now. I hobble around and everyone makes fun of me, you're not funny you idiots. Put me in an awkward situation ill tell it just how it is. I will not apologize for not being pretentious. I don't need negativity in my life, I don't need high school drama, if you don't want to hear my truth then you should just stop while you're ahead.

If something is bothering you, speak up. Nothing ever became of the passive aggressive human who kept their mouth shut. Holding in all those hurt feelings of animosity will eat YOU alive, not the other person.

Whether you tell your problems to a punching bag, the gym, cry a river, scrub your house until it is spankin', do not fail to address the real issue at hand.

Love is not always comfortable, life is not always comfortable! When you care about someone you take the extra effort to step out of the batter's box.
My impatience has given me no time to fabricate intricate tales embellished with spits of truth.

The times when you claim "I'm just so confused, I don't know what to do" ... Those are when you know EXACTLY what to do. You're just trying to a. change your own mind or b. Blame the decision your about to make going against your inner voice on someone else.

There is a reason that the saying life is short is so cliche.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Elizabeth knight

I've been getting lots of emails lately asking where when why how etc about getting ahold of elizabeth knight... As of right now the line is not available for purchase. I'm a perfectionist and want to be 110 percent certain that the final product represents my vision exactly. BUT I feel like I can't be stingy with my prototypes and samples... Since all my close friends and family have been wiping me out (which I love) I want to give you guys a sneak peek as well.... So let's do a giveaway!! Here are the rules...
1. There are none.. Hahahaha
Whoever is interested I want you to create something that transpires the meaning of what beauty means to you..
Be completely honest and don't hold anything back. It can be a photo, drawing, poem, essay, even an act of kindness- do something that impacts anothers life in a big way and write about your experience.... I will then pick the top ten and send the winners a mystery elizabeth knight product. Mind you these are prototype packaging with experimental logo placement but the actual makeup is to die for. Not really, I would never in a million years condone dying for makeup.

K love you all little sugar medallions. Good luck! The wait won't be much longer...
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Friday, July 30, 2010

Loza and wak-attack

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Best trick xgames 16

Kyle didn't ride best trick tonight because he has a broken wrist, just got surgery, and started training without dr consent. At practice this morning he was throwing it big and overshot it! yet still planned to ride! It kept getting worse throughout the day and he decided to save his new tricks for next year when he's 110% yes, trickS! He's bummed he didn't get to ride and is gonna make it up to you all next year and years after etc :-)
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Thursday, July 29, 2010

X games 16

By far the best group of dudes in freestyle, anyone name them all? How about what tricks they invented? Who wants to see some x games behind the scenes blogging tomorrow? :)

Today we went down to the los angeles coliseum and kyle registered and did a bunch of interviews, ill post the stuff they did for shark week if I can find any online. On another note how rad is it that there is a race for adaptive racers? One of the coolest races to watch in my opinion!

It seems like everyone is down and out this year in moto world, best trick is left to a bunch of unheard of dudes trying to pull double backflips and frontflips... Let's pray it doesn't turn into a crashfest.

What are your guys' favorite Xgames competitions? Ill be back out there tomorrow, what do you want me to get my digital eyes on?
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Monday, July 12, 2010

Elizabeth Knight

I have settled upon the perfect name for my makeup line. 
I decided to give eternal life to my best friend who was tragically killed 2 years ago in a car accident, the man who hit her car head on was going the wrong way on the freeway entrance. I was having thinking about how shallow the whole concept felt, sure my plan is to provide girls with quality makeup for super affordable prices. That just wasn't doing enough for me, I felt like I had to give something more. Therefore against every business person's advice I am going to be giving a percentage of everything made to charity. I think of it as girls using beauty to fight drunk driving. 

My best friend's name was Ashley Elizabeth Knight Nelson, and she was stunning! She was the blonde version of a silly highschool casey. We didn't care about boys, or any of the drama everyone else was concerned with. We loved to have fun together, go to warped tour and start dance parties in the middle of the mosh pits, we were their for each other during the toughest times of teenage years, the first loves, the first heartbreaks.. we were nice to everyone, it just wasn't in our nature to be snobby chicks, she religiously wore her retainer and looked even cuter in combination with her eyeglasses.

I was 8 months pregnant with Sadie when she was murdered, and I DO consider it murder. It is no accident for a drunk guy to get in his car and drive, he only got 10 years in prison. The hardest part is forgiving him,  he has to live with the fact he took one of the smartest, funniest, most beautiful and secure women from this Earth.  She still has my promise ring from my 16th birthday. 

please please be the one at the party who hides the drunkards car keys. If no one can drive and there is an emergency get everyone to pitch in for a cab, or call your mom! 

I hope you all love what I have been working on, and please keep sending in photos of yourselves for modeling! I need your lovely faces, can't do it without you <3

this is the photo on her headstone. 

Sunday, July 11, 2010


I have a superhuman ability, seriously. I can find the good in anyone. Focus on the positive qualities in personalities, but don't excuse bad manners. People ask a lot of questions, it's ironic really, when all you have to do is listen. I've become who I am by doing one thing, listening... really caring what someone has to say, don't just wait for your turn to weigh in on the conversation. 
Most people would rather piss and moan about another person's life than take any action in their own. I've done a lot of dumb things in my life, but honestly I wouldn't be where I am right at this moment if I wouldn't have learned from them. For every heartbreak you endure is freedom to the path of appreciating prince charming! I wish I could just give a little hope to anyone who has been put in a unfavorable situation that for reasons beyond their grasp they just can't break away. You don't need anyone in your life but GOD. 

When someone breaks your heart, and I mean rips it to shreds, don't try and be a tough guy, feel the feelings, cry a little (in my case A LOT), then forgive them in your heart and move on. I'm not saying I don't believe in second chances, I do. BUT I have learned first hand that there is someone out there who is going to love everything about you and love you enough to not even want to chance hurting you, let alone losing you. 
the smartest thing you can do is to put your pride aside and learn from other's mistakes. Don't be the stubborn one who has to do things the hard way( it's ignorant to be proud of a trait like that. ) gather knowledge, take people's advice into consideration, give people the benefit of the doubt, don't make your boyfriend/girlfriend suffer by torturing them with fits of jealousy because you were hurt in the past. learn to let go, learn to trust, learn to really truly love with all your heart, only then are you living. 

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

glamourous grunge.

I like to think of my own personal style as a crash of all things that make me feel good. I don't feel comfortable being too polished. If I am wearing a gorgeous gown and lots of diamonds I like to keep my hair messy, I've been criticized for never "properly grooming" my hair.. seductive disarray. I love it. No matter how fancy or dressed up you get don't lose sight of yourself. Trying something outside of your comfort zone can encourage different parts of your personality. I know my attitude changes the second I put on thigh highs, one of my favorite things to do is wear the sexiest lingerie I own (including thigh highs and garter belt) underneath a very conservative outifit when attending professional business ordeals. Instead of the generic black dress. Just the confidence it gives you makes a world of difference. It gives you an air of mystery, you can't help that charisma you give off knowing you're hiding something.

Monday, June 28, 2010

where the streets have no names

 Getting back into shape after having a baby is difficult, even more so when you already have a toddler. You find that mac n cheese and pb and j's are a staple in your daily gourmet cuisine. Here's a secret, eat healthy when you're pregnant.. just focus on lots and lots of dark greens, all the usual healthy staples, you NEED to FEED that baby! When you feel a crazy craving for sweets I promise an orange will satiate you.  My theory is that the human body will shed all those pounds with no literally is the perfect baby making machine if you think of it as exactly that. Imagine eating thousands of years ago, no pesticides, no artificial ingredients, preservatives, scientifically altered anything. You eat tons of the good stuff, your baby grows plump and you gain weight in all the right places, thighs and buns for the brain building omega 3s.. but at the same time you can't afford to just sit on the couch and become a sedentary baby maker. You need fresh air, you need to get your heart pumping and blood flowing. If you don't have a dog I suggest borrowing one daily and just letting them drag you around for a bit (safely of course maybe a strong small dog haha). 

Also, doing so will prevent stretch marks. I don't drink anything except water, and milk.. water with no ice in restaurants. OH and I have another secret, I used this special oil that my sister in laws dad invented. I'm trying to convince him to let me market it! 

After your bundle of joy is born, use those tittys for their God given reason! Trust me, there is nothing better than snuggling your newborn and bonding. You won't feel guilty for letting the house go because your body needs the rest and everytime you nurse feel good chemicals are released to your brain to help you relax and deal with the stress of having a new baby. There are other reasons that you are meant to breast feed besides the fact that the whole reason your body stores fat while you are pregnant.. MATERNAL FAT... it's for breastfeeding! It's a gift, say you have a difficult birth and couldn't go out and hunt for food (reverting to my theory of the original plan for mommy bodies), your baby wouldn't suffer because your body has a backup plan. By no means should you ever starve yourself, I know how exhausting being a new mother is, and it is very important to eat, so you should accept all the help that is offered. Have someone close to you set up at least two weeks after you arrive from the hospital of friends and family members to bring you dinner and stock your fridge with healthy snacks and tons of water. If you don't have the resources than use those last few weeks of nesting energy to make lots of sauce and things to freeze that your partner in baby-making can unthaw and throw together. 

The one thing that was very very important to me was stretching, with Sadie all I had to do was pamper myself inside and out, I created the perfect regimen. It was a lot harder with my son, I gained 40 pounds and it took a giant toll on my lower back. Carrying around that much extra weight when your joints are loose and your muscles aren't prepared for it is really really hard on your body. Simple stretches suffice, try to do them all throughout your pregnancy and continue after. Once your doctor gives you the heads up to exercise utilize the stroller. Go for walks, lots of walks, do squats while you are bouncing your little one back to sleep at night.

 And eventually, I promise, you will need some mommy time.. just stay awake after you get up for that butt crack of dawn feeding and leave your man to snuggle the munchkins while you put your earphones on and crank your favorite NON baby related playlist, and go outside and run (or borrow that dog again). Clear your mind and just run. I've still got 10 pounds to lose, and my lower back has kept me from doing anything other than stretching and walking, but you know what, it is ok with me. I've just given birth to a child! If that is not the best excuse in the universe to be comfortable with your body, I don't know what is. 

think of your body as a lambo.. would you pour windex in its gas tank? no? hmmm then why would you want to put junk into your beautiful body? would you feed your newborn child a whole bag of flamin' hot cheetos dipped in cream cheese? I don't think so sister! Plus, if you eat all those cliche foods that children are supposed to refuse when you are pregnant, they will love them when they start eating solids. And remember monkey see, monkey do. =)

La La Love you all. And I hope that answers some of your questions about babies and pregnancy. 

show me show me show me

i hope that title got the cure stuck in your head... ;)

Eating Angel food cake and I just caught myself telling a baby not to throw it on the floor because there are hungry angels out there who are starving. 

I'm so busy lately I feel like I've been abandoning my bloglet. Yes, I will call it a bloglet as I feel it has not yet matured to its full creative potential. I've been working my arse off on this makeup line, it's pretty intense, the business part of it anyways. I've got the style and creativity nailed. I know exactly what I want the hard part is making that happen all while keeping the price down so i can still accomplish my original goal of department store makeup for waaaay less expensive. Since I started this whole project and began working on the first batch of samples three years ago I've been using all my own eye makeup.
 I was appalled by the information (by suggestion) that maquillage has a 400% mark up! wow dude, wow.. I just find that disgusting, If I can provide for all the ladies out there and I have the resources available I feel it is my duty to carry out my mission. 

I've been blessed to have the smart friends I have to help me out with all the nitty gritty. I've found the hardest part is choosing a name. Everything tends to confine the label to a specific image and the fun for me in maquillage is change. One day you feel like being a saucy vixen with ruby red lips and a slinky gown, the next you may want to go naturel with some hydrating lip balm and a fined tuned set of brows add that to your glowing skin and you can't go wrong.

I still need unique, flawed, REAL, beautiful women to inspire me, also I want to incorporate non plastic faces into my advertising campaign when it comes time. 

Non, je ne regrette rien

Thursday, June 24, 2010


hold these eyes
 catch this breath
raise your glass to life

every breath pleading that final prayer
'til death do us part

you've got nothing to prove
we'll never die
cease to swim the moonlit sea
bury our hearts in shallow graves 
wrapped in wolves fur

your warmth devouring isolation 
whispering i love you
every second a new disease

If all my sorrow has led me here
 I would frame that last tear 

for if only the delusion 
unsteady yet solid

love walks in stitches
-casey loza

hand me down gifts from first loves

To me, fashion is expression,'s about being a woman and celebrating! How I dress is a clear visual of what I'm feeling at the moment, true fashion is rarely contrived. It's what you grab that is screaming out at your current mood. The beauty of it is that fashion is a simple change that can transform your mood by slipping on a pair of 5 inch stilettos! It's as easy as wearing your diamond (or for the smarter one CZ's) studs to the gym. Fashion is a seed that is planted when we got our first barbie, from the shoes, dresses, vests, hair, makeup, bangles, pearls, lipgloss, clutches, I was hooked. Now I get to play the barbie and I don't think I will ever get too old. 

dress-free people
black leather tube bra- kill city (planet funk)
makeup- unnamed line of mine(soon to be released)
jewelry- swallow bracelet from some random vintage store in san juan,
 shell ring from vacation in Kauai, green ring by stephen dweck, green bangles- claires (that's right the little girl store), earrings - brass plum  
sunglasses- Ashbury
Belt- got it at some polish festival by my parents house
horn necklace- metro park or planet funk?
purse- hype
nail polish- Sephora by OPI in havana dreams & MAC in brown bag
cowboy boots- jessica simpson 

as for her hair, I used Murrays wax and took small sections and ruffled them and twisted creating what I call beauty dreads. 

step one...


I love my family so so much! had such a great time at the getaway house, it's good for the soul to wake up at 5am and just look out over the water and be still with yourself. My little sister Samantha is breathtakingly gorgeous and we did a few photoshoots which I am going to post one up in a few hours. I had fun playing dress up, she's my little doll and I got a sample batch of product done for my makeup line so I got to play around with that and style her and try some different looks with her hair. I love it. My parents were both laughing and saying that perhaps all the money they spent on carpet cleaners in front of my closet mirror from playing with makeup and creating different looks is finally going to pay off.  

Passion induced vomit

Came home from a business meeting tonight to my son with a buzzed head. NOT too happy about it. Husband has worked himself sick and is in the bathroom barfing. I'm watermarking some photos from this weekend to post, don't need shady bungholes stealing photos for their wicked uses. yuck it is probably my second least favorite noise besides grinding teeth listening to someone barf... on a less disgusting note I am very excited about my new project.

 I have been wanting to pursue this mission for 5 years now and could never take that initial leap, you know the one where you let go of one trapeze swing to grab onto the other? That's what my meeting was about tonight, I'm following my passion. You can't fail if you never try right? Also, I am going to need some face models in the Orange County, Los Angeles area, I prefer a diverse few... naturally beautiful, unique, strong women. Stereotypical generic features, I love you, we all do, but I need an array of faces that inspire me.. bring me your beautiful flaws, I want scars, I want freckles, I want crooked noses broken playing the sports that bring you happiness, if you are reading this thinking I could never apply, you are what I want. I want to inspire the felines of this shallow world to love their god given faces, I want to show you how to enhance the beauty you've been handed instead of hiding it. Charming delusion ... 

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

ponch-a rooftop

how would you wear a poncho in 110 degree weather?

poncho-stolen from little sister

Monday, June 21, 2010

On a gorgeous lake at the family getaway house, audrina and corey got here yesterday so we prolonged our vacation in order to hang out today. Pics to come...

Sunday, June 20, 2010


Sneak peek of second look, decided I have more fun being the stylist, makeup artist, hair dresser and photographer. If you want something done right do it yourself!!?!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Friday, June 18, 2010


Louboutin never lets you down.

rape the rad world

 Obama passed a law in March allowing unrestricted offshore drilling

"The costs of the cleanup of the spill will vastly exceed any profits that could have been extracted from the ocean floor -- never mind the morality of killing thousands upon thousands of sea animals, not to mention the upheaval for the fishing industry."


Thursday, June 17, 2010

turn the handle

Broken discipline kisses my hollow mouth 
whispering show me an awkward touch 
hide behind a mask comprised of pieces cut from the ones you idolize
becoming the faces who hate themselves
is your interior so superior

do they love you or just the pieces 
manipulated and shattered 
plastic has a monopoly on righteousness 
bruised and shattered
clutching your self respect
this is everything I have ever wanted
lie there smiling into a broken mirror 

father scorpion

Nothing like taking a little aggression out on some beer bottles in the middle of the desert! I don't know what it is but there is something magical about taking the motorhome out to the middle of nowhere and setting up camp with the family and a group of good friends. Bonfires, target practice, bringing out the bikes, staring up into the most beautiful night sky imaginable! I haven't rode a dirt bike (kyle thinks it's funny to do tricks with me on the back) in 7 years and I decided it would be relaxing to go explore with Kyle and see if I remember how to shift gears haha. He just had surgery not even a month ago but feels like he is ready to get back on the bike and test out his new arm so we're gonna head out for Father's Day weekend. I'm bringing my camera and a mini closet full.. I'm a little insecure but ready for my post baby body fashion photo blogs to begin..

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

stand here... in this bed of flowers... now vogue

I'm thinking I want to recreate this photo in my own way, how would you do it?

Ready, Set EW done

This photo depicts exactly how I feel right now...Day 3 of cleanse, we ended up pretty much just fasting yesterday because I couldn't handle the taste/smell anymore, cheated and ate 3 pistachios around midnight... Kyle did the honors and called the owner Tim and had him switch over to the sweet tooth program. Determined not to quit!! I must admit though the extra 50 bucks for agave (which I could've gotten at Henry's market) is pretty steep.. It's 3pm and I'm still on the first one with ten more to go for the day.. apparently you can get away with only drinking half pints throughout the day. I think today may just be the last day I can handle it.


We did this photoshoot 8 days before I gave birth to our son, when I saw the photos after we took them I was disgusted and didn't want to show a soul. I was so appalled by how big I was. ( I put on 40 pounds! ) I took them only for my husband and refused to even show him then.. Now I am celebrating the fact that I am 100% happy with my body because I have given birth to two perfect, healthy babies and that is beautiful in itself. You don't have to try and fit into a cookie cutter shape to love yourself, trust me, there is someone out there who is going to think every little imperfection you find on your body and in your self is endearing and beautiful. LOVE YOURSELF AND LOVE WILL FIND YOU <3