cuz im a creeeeeeeep

glamourous grunge.

I like to think of my own personal style as a crash of all things that make me feel good. I don't feel comfortable being too polished. If I am wearing a gorgeous gown and lots of diamonds I like to keep my hair messy, I've been criticized for never "properly grooming" my hair.. seductive disarray. I love it. No matter how fancy or dressed up you get don't lose sight of yourself. Trying something outside of your comfort zone can encourage different parts of your personality. I know my attitude changes the second I put on thigh highs, one of my favorite things to do is wear the sexiest lingerie I own (including thigh highs and garter belt) underneath a very conservative outifit when attending professional business ordeals. Instead of the generic black dress. Just the confidence it gives you makes a world of difference. It gives you an air of mystery, you can't help that charisma you give off knowing you're hiding something.

where the streets have no names

 Getting back into shape after having a baby is difficult, even more so when you already have a toddler. You find that mac n cheese and pb and j's are a staple in your daily gourmet cuisine. Here's a secret, eat healthy when you're pregnant.. just focus on lots and lots of dark greens, all the usual healthy staples, you NEED to FEED that baby! When you feel a crazy craving for sweets I promise an orange will satiate you.  My theory is that the human body will shed all those pounds with no problem...it literally is the perfect baby making machine if you think of it as exactly that. Imagine eating thousands of years ago, no pesticides, no artificial ingredients, preservatives, scientifically altered anything. You eat tons of the good stuff, your baby grows plump and you gain weight in all the right places, thighs and buns for the brain building omega 3s.. but at the same time you can't afford to just sit on the couch and become a sedentary baby maker. You need fresh air, you need to get your heart pumping and blood flowing. If you don't have a dog I suggest borrowing one daily and just letting them drag you around for a bit (safely of course maybe a strong small dog haha). 


Also, doing so will prevent stretch marks. I don't drink anything except water, and milk.. water with no ice in restaurants. OH and I have another secret, I used this special oil that my sister in laws dad invented. I'm trying to convince him to let me market it! 


After your bundle of joy is born, use those tittys for their God given reason! Trust me, there is nothing better than snuggling your newborn and bonding. You won't feel guilty for letting the house go because your body needs the rest and everytime you nurse feel good chemicals are released to your brain to help you relax and deal with the stress of having a new baby. There are other reasons that you are meant to breast feed besides the fact that the whole reason your body stores fat while you are pregnant.. MATERNAL FAT... it's for breastfeeding! It's a gift, say you have a difficult birth and couldn't go out and hunt for food (reverting to my theory of the original plan for mommy bodies), your baby wouldn't suffer because your body has a backup plan. By no means should you ever starve yourself, I know how exhausting being a new mother is, and it is very important to eat, so you should accept all the help that is offered. Have someone close to you set up at least two weeks after you arrive from the hospital of friends and family members to bring you dinner and stock your fridge with healthy snacks and tons of water. If you don't have the resources than use those last few weeks of nesting energy to make lots of sauce and things to freeze that your partner in baby-making can unthaw and throw together. 


The one thing that was very very important to me was stretching, with Sadie all I had to do was pamper myself inside and out, I created the perfect regimen. It was a lot harder with my son, I gained 40 pounds and it took a giant toll on my lower back. Carrying around that much extra weight when your joints are loose and your muscles aren't prepared for it is really really hard on your body. Simple stretches suffice, try to do them all throughout your pregnancy and continue after. Once your doctor gives you the heads up to exercise utilize the stroller. Go for walks, lots of walks, do squats while you are bouncing your little one back to sleep at night.


 And eventually, I promise, you will need some mommy time.. just stay awake after you get up for that butt crack of dawn feeding and leave your man to snuggle the munchkins while you put your earphones on and crank your favorite NON baby related playlist, and go outside and run (or borrow that dog again). Clear your mind and just run. I've still got 10 pounds to lose, and my lower back has kept me from doing anything other than stretching and walking, but you know what, it is ok with me. I've just given birth to a child! If that is not the best excuse in the universe to be comfortable with your body, I don't know what is. 


think of your body as a lambo.. would you pour windex in its gas tank? no? hmmm then why would you want to put junk into your beautiful body? would you feed your newborn child a whole bag of flamin' hot cheetos dipped in cream cheese? I don't think so sister! Plus, if you eat all those cliche foods that children are supposed to refuse when you are pregnant, they will love them when they start eating solids. And remember monkey see, monkey do. =)


La La Love you all. And I hope that answers some of your questions about babies and pregnancy. 

show me show me show me

i hope that title got the cure stuck in your head... ;)

Eating Angel food cake and I just caught myself telling a baby not to throw it on the floor because there are hungry angels out there who are starving. 

I'm so busy lately I feel like I've been abandoning my bloglet. Yes, I will call it a bloglet as I feel it has not yet matured to its full creative potential. I've been working my arse off on this makeup line, it's pretty intense, the business part of it anyways. I've got the style and creativity nailed. I know exactly what I want the hard part is making that happen all while keeping the price down so i can still accomplish my original goal of department store makeup for waaaay less expensive. Since I started this whole project and began working on the first batch of samples three years ago I've been using all my own eye makeup.
 I was appalled by the information (by suggestion) that maquillage has a 400% mark up! wow dude, wow.. I just find that disgusting, If I can provide for all the ladies out there and I have the resources available I feel it is my duty to carry out my mission. 

I've been blessed to have the smart friends I have to help me out with all the nitty gritty. I've found the hardest part is choosing a name. Everything tends to confine the label to a specific image and the fun for me in maquillage is change. One day you feel like being a saucy vixen with ruby red lips and a slinky gown, the next you may want to go naturel with some hydrating lip balm and a fined tuned set of brows add that to your glowing skin and you can't go wrong.


I still need unique, flawed, REAL, beautiful women to inspire me, also I want to incorporate non plastic faces into my advertising campaign when it comes time. 


Non, je ne regrette rien

.crash.

hold these eyes

 catch this breath

raise your glass to life

every breath pleading that final prayer

'til death do us part

you've got nothing to prove

we'll never die

cease to swim the moonlit sea

bury our hearts in shallow graves 

wrapped in wolves fur

your warmth devouring isolation 

whispering i love you

every second a new disease

If all my sorrow has led me here

 I would frame that last tear 

for if only the delusion 

unsteady yet solid

love walks in stitches
-casey loza

hand me down gifts from first loves

To me, fashion is expression, art...it's about being a woman and celebrating! How I dress is a clear visual of what I'm feeling at the moment, true fashion is rarely contrived. It's what you grab that is screaming out at your current mood. The beauty of it is that fashion is a simple change that can transform your mood by slipping on a pair of 5 inch stilettos! It's as easy as wearing your diamond (or for the smarter one CZ's) studs to the gym. Fashion is a seed that is planted when we got our first barbie, from the shoes, dresses, vests, hair, makeup, bangles, pearls, lipgloss, clutches, I was hooked. Now I get to play the barbie and I don't think I will ever get too old. 

dress-free people

black leather tube bra- kill city (planet funk)

makeup- unnamed line of mine(soon to be released)

jewelry- swallow bracelet from some random vintage store in san juan,

 shell ring from vacation in Kauai, green ring by stephen dweck, green bangles- claires (that's right the little girl store), earrings - brass plum  

sunglasses- Ashbury

Belt- got it at some polish festival by my parents house

horn necklace- metro park or planet funk?

purse- hype

nail polish- Sephora by OPI in havana dreams & MAC in brown bag

cowboy boots- jessica simpson 

as for her hair, I used Murrays wax and took small sections and ruffled them and twisted creating what I call beauty dreads. 

step one...

LOVE LIFE

I love my family so so much! had such a great time at the getaway house, it's good for the soul to wake up at 5am and just look out over the water and be still with yourself. My little sister Samantha is breathtakingly gorgeous and we did a few photoshoots which I am going to post one up in a few hours. I had fun playing dress up, she's my little doll and I got a sample batch of product done for my makeup line so I got to play around with that and style her and try some different looks with her hair. I love it. My parents were both laughing and saying that perhaps all the money they spent on carpet cleaners in front of my closet mirror from playing with makeup and creating different looks is finally going to pay off.  

Passion induced vomit

Came home from a business meeting tonight to my son with a buzzed head. NOT too happy about it. Husband has worked himself sick and is in the bathroom barfing. I'm watermarking some photos from this weekend to post, don't need shady bungholes stealing photos for their wicked uses. yuck it is probably my second least favorite noise besides grinding teeth listening to someone barf... on a less disgusting note I am very excited about my new project.


 I have been wanting to pursue this mission for 5 years now and could never take that initial leap, you know the one where you let go of one trapeze swing to grab onto the other? That's what my meeting was about tonight, I'm following my passion. You can't fail if you never try right? Also, I am going to need some face models in the Orange County, Los Angeles area, I prefer a diverse few... naturally beautiful, unique, strong women. Stereotypical generic features, I love you, we all do, but I need an array of faces that inspire me.. bring me your beautiful flaws, I want scars, I want freckles, I want crooked noses broken playing the sports that bring you happiness, if you are reading this thinking I could never apply, you are what I want. I want to inspire the felines of this shallow world to love their god given faces, I want to show you how to enhance the beauty you've been handed instead of hiding it. Charming delusion ... 

ponch-a rooftop

how would you wear a poncho in 110 degree weather?

shoes-topshop

glasses-sabre

poncho-stolen from little sister

headband-intermix

On a gorgeous lake at the family getaway house, audrina and corey got here yesterday so we prolonged our vacation in order to hang out today. Pics to come...

shoot

Sneak peek of second look, decided I have more fun being the stylist, makeup artist, hair dresser and photographer. If you want something done right do it yourself!!?!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

shoegasm

Louboutin never lets you down.

rape the rad world

 Obama passed a law in March allowing unrestricted offshore drilling

"The costs of the cleanup of the spill will vastly exceed any profits that could have been extracted from the ocean floor -- never mind the morality of killing thousands upon thousands of sea animals, not to mention the upheaval for the fishing industry."

 

turn the handle

Broken discipline kisses my hollow mouth 

whispering show me an awkward touch 

hide behind a mask comprised of pieces cut from the ones you idolize

becoming the faces who hate themselves

is your interior so superior

do they love you or just the pieces 

manipulated and shattered 

plastic has a monopoly on righteousness 

bruised and shattered

clutching your self respect

this is everything I have ever wanted

lie there smiling into a broken mirror 

-me

father scorpion

Nothing like taking a little aggression out on some beer bottles in the middle of the desert! I don't know what it is but there is something magical about taking the motorhome out to the middle of nowhere and setting up camp with the family and a group of good friends. Bonfires, target practice, bringing out the bikes, staring up into the most beautiful night sky imaginable! I haven't rode a dirt bike (kyle thinks it's funny to do tricks with me on the back) in 7 years and I decided it would be relaxing to go explore with Kyle and see if I remember how to shift gears haha. He just had surgery not even a month ago but feels like he is ready to get back on the bike and test out his new arm so we're gonna head out for Father's Day weekend. I'm bringing my camera and a mini closet full.. I'm a little insecure but ready for my post baby body fashion photo blogs to begin..

stand here... in this bed of flowers... now vogue

I'm thinking I want to recreate this photo in my own way, how would you do it?

Ready, Set EW done

This photo depicts exactly how I feel right now...Day 3 of cleanse, we ended up pretty much just fasting yesterday because I couldn't handle the taste/smell anymore, cheated and ate 3 pistachios around midnight... Kyle did the honors and called the owner Tim and had him switch over to the sweet tooth program. Determined not to quit!! I must admit though the extra 50 bucks for agave (which I could've gotten at Henry's market) is pretty steep.. It's 3pm and I'm still on the first one with ten more to go for the day.. apparently you can get away with only drinking half pints throughout the day. I think today may just be the last day I can handle it.

scream

We did this photoshoot 8 days before I gave birth to our son, when I saw the photos after we took them I was disgusted and didn't want to show a soul. I was so appalled by how big I was. ( I put on 40 pounds! ) I took them only for my husband and refused to even show him then.. Now I am celebrating the fact that I am 100% happy with my body because I have given birth to two perfect, healthy babies and that is beautiful in itself. You don't have to try and fit into a cookie cutter shape to love yourself, trust me, there is someone out there who is going to think every little imperfection you find on your body and in your self is endearing and beautiful. LOVE YOURSELF AND LOVE WILL FIND YOU <3

i paint

Don't tell my sister...

Audrina has been busy cleaning out her closets, yes she has three of them, and she has been gradually giving me a TON of amazing stuff.. these gorgeous BRAND NEW Brian Atwoods, I think she wore them for a photo shoot or something, don't fit me... I thought perhaps I could force them to since they are 800 dollar shoes, but I will sell them for 500.. but it's just not happening. Slingbacks you have to buy a size bigger so if anyone is a size 37 aka 7US and wants to talk to me about buying them... leave a comment or email me. And whoever buys them please send a picture of how you styled them and I'll post it! xo

Day 2 of cleanze

I didn't mention before that Kyle, my husband, is doing the cleanse with me... well he hates it, I have to force him to drink the pints and he shotguns them and holds his breath then chases it with water. It is working for him very well though aka our house smells SOOOOO bad. As for me, I was doubting if I was a good candidate since I wasn't having the same results as Kyle (lucky and not so lucky?), I was ready to quit this morning just looking at that little cooler sitting on the patio. Then I weighed myself and I lost 4 pounds since yesterday! Alright I've got to get out of this house and into some fresh air, cheers!

let's get personal.

SOOOO this little gem has left me with 15lbs to lose, I just feel gross and unhealthy so I decided to do a juice/cleanse/fast... I started izocleanze today, they delivered my first batch (at 4am) of juices, liver detox pills and laxatives.. so far I can't say I love the taste (the first one was green with a bite) the one I'm drinking now is red and WAAAY better...but I am looking at this as hitting the RESET button.. so now that I've told you I'm accountable for sticking to it. I'm starting with the 3 day session and if I love the results I am going to do a ten day... eek I've never done anything like this so I'm not sure what to expect and I'm scared of the laxative part hahaha

i could wear this outfit everyday,

pulse increase?

sorry, i'm rude. lets try that again.

hi. with the push of my husband i've created a place to unleash my brain. my memory is slipping lately so this is going to be my virtual scrapbook of all things that inspire and motivate me. plus i feel like all the sweet clothes and crap that i accumulate just gathers dust because really when do you get to wear a gucci gown with two babies? mmmm yep. so im just going to play dress up and play makeup and post it online so i can hopefully inspire someone to find the joy in wearing fake eyelashes and heels (listening to edith piaf) while doing the dishes. 

blah blah blog

twinkle twinkle young mistress 

what is your virtue worth?

risking your immortal soul for the wish of an earthly king

soon you'll be drowning at the center of my sea...

this is the diary of humanity

swollen and tax free 

- me 

evoke

I am here to share. 

enjoy. or piss off. 

either way, I love you.